Giving in to My Inner 6 Year Old

All too often, I give in to my inner 6 year old.  Something happens that doesn't go quite the way I want it, and instead of acting like an adult, as I know I should, my inner 6 year old shows up with her fists at her side, yelling as loud as she can "No, I don't like this!"  of like a kid with ADD on a sugar rush, I bounce up and down yelling "Look at me, look at me!"

Of course none of this is out loud, instead its all in my head and outwardly I seem angry, uninterested or just plain rude.  I feel immediately ashamed of myself, because I should know better.  I should be more Christlike; graceful, generous, and completely selfless; instead, I am graceless, selfish and petulant.

My acquaintances seem to be very forgiving but how long can that go on, before they give up on me, before they are tire of my poor behavior and poor attitude?

I try so hard to behave better, to try harder, to be an adult, but often not long after I run into that 6 year old girl again, fists at her side, yelling "No!"

How can I pretend to be happy when she is seemingly in control, that little girl, angry at the world, because she's not getting her way, desperate for acknowledgement and acceptance?  How can I pretend that things are fine and going the way I expect them too?

The truth is I can't, it upsets me and frustrates me when life is not perfect.  God promised an abundant life, not perfection at least not on this side of Heaven.  "In this world you will have trouble, but I have overcome the world."  That is such a promise.   Christ guarantees that life won't be easy or always go my way but He has done everything needed to forgive my petulant childishness.

Thank God for such a promise.  If it weren't for promises such as these, I'd have no hope at all and that sad little 6 year old girl would be in control all of the time instead of only occasionally when she proves stronger than my adult self.

A New Day

Hello everyone, I'm back.

Today was a new day, I decided that I need to remove all the books from my house that are not healthy for my spirit.  This move has been a long time coming, I've felt God telling me for a long while that romance novels are not good for me.  They cause me to fill a hole in my heart with unhealthy illusions of love.  I'm extremely desirous of a spouse and I know I should wait patiently for God's timing but I often try to advance His timing before He wants me too.  So instead of patiently waiting I try to fill the void that is there for my husband with thoughts that are not appropriate.

I know some of you are aware that I have done this before, I'm asking for your prayers and support in this, I do not want to return to this addiction but without accountability I may not be able to withstand the temptation.

I haven't disappeared

Just wanted to let you know I haven't disappeared, I've just taken a well deserved rest after 2 very long weeks.  Off to Good Friday service soon.

Busy Day

Off to sing Messiah. Wish me luck!


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Snowy Days

Woke up to a snowfall. Brushed 1/2 a foot of snow off my car. Ate breakfast at work. Enough said.


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Why I wear a daffodil....

I'm sure many Canadians remember that song from the Canadian Cancer Society ads, That's What Daffodil's Do...well now the Canadian Cancer Society has brought us daffodil pins to wear to show support to cancer survivors and their families.  I got mine this morning because I am the daughter of a cancer survivor and the grand-daughter of several people who succumbed to their battles with various forms of the disease. 

I am an ultrasound technologist and I come in contact with cancer survivors and those who are still fighting, sometimes on a daily basis and so when this disease touches my own family, my mind immediately goes to the possibilities good and bad of a diagnosis.

Unfortunately not everyone survives and we need to be aware so that we can find a cure, not only for the 'infamous' forms of cancer such as breast or colon cancer but also the forms that are not well known.  Let's help everyone say that they are survivors.

Hey everyone, if you are in Calgary this Sunday come to Brentview Baptist Church to hear our Choir and Orchestra perform the second half of Handel's Messiah.

2 Corinthians 12:9 - Passage Lookup - New International Version, ©2011 - BibleGateway.com

"2 Corinthians 12:9 (New International Version, ©2011)

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."

So true, can't get better than this. This is part of my story, I'm not perfect, just forgiven!

PeggyLovesVintage Blog: A Memory Book and a Free Vintage Image

PeggyLovesVintage Blog: A Memory Book and a Free Vintage Image

Check this out and see a beautiful memory book made by Peggy Love Vintage. A book with memories from home for someone who'll be far away for awhile.

Just because I'm watching the second Mummy movie (with Brendan Fraser) and I wanted to read if the Medjay were real.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medjay

What's your story?

Everyone has a story to tell, the question is how will you tell it?  For the past few years, I've been choosing to tell mine, and to help other people tell theirs through memory books.  The first memory book I made, was what is known as a traditional scrapbook and was in memory of my grandmother.  My grandmother was not always an easy woman to deal with, but I loved her.  She spent the last 3 years of her life fighting colon cancer, and it was difficult for me.  Because of my education and career in healthcare, I know quite a bit about diseases in general and colon cancer in particular.  I knew from the time of her diagnosis, based on how far the disease had spread that she would die, I was expecting it, I knew it was just a matter of time.  Even so, when she passed away, it was a surprise.  As a method of healing, I took pictures of my Gran, right from the time she was born and put them together into a scrapbook, nothing special, very few words and no "journaling" at all, just a book to remember her by.  I later took the same pictures and created a digital memory book for my family as well.

That was my first story, since then I have created many books, mostly as gifts for family and friends.  I have so many stories in my head, memories that I want to put down so that I don't forget them.  Its just a matter of finding the time to do it :).

What are your stories?  How would you like to tell them?

Messiah Part 2

The choir is still working hard on our next concert, which is the second half of Messiah. It's been a long process but we sound pretty good. It just dawned on me however that Palm Sunday (the day of the concert) is only a week and a half away! Yikes!!!!!!

I'm sure, I hope, it will be great.

Holidays in Hawaii

Well I got the holiday time I requested and so Jenn and I and hopefully Amy will be jetting off to Hawaii in August.  I am so looking forward to it, I haven't been on a big vacation outside of the country in a long time, so long that I can't even remember it and so this is a big deal for me.  The weather in Hawaii is temperate year round and the water is always warm.

Jenn and I are also well on our way to losing lots of weight before the trip.  I'm down about 12 pounds and here's to 30 more before August!  We're following the "Sonoma Diet" which is based on foods available in the Sonoma Valley of California, and very similar to a Mediterranean style of eating, lots of whole grains, lean meats, and fruits and vegetables.

Day One

This is my first entry for this blog.  Just to satisfy those who will inevitably comment on this, my life is not always amazing, its not even sometimes amazing.  But my brain is always turning, thinking of things I want to write down.  Sometimes there are stories, sometimes a song, sometimes just things that I wonder.  I hope you will enjoy this.